Love's painful dance
by Verzweifelt
Summary: A Sasunaru love story involving Sasuke's seemingly one sided love for Naruto and how he deals with their friendship which later turns into much more
1. Chapter 1

I can't stand to be apart from him it tears at me inside. He is always off doing his own thing and I am always alone here in my room daydreaming about the love that I have for him.

It wasn't always like this though I didn't always love him in fact I hated him, a-lot. I saw him for the first time mooning over Sakura and I despised him. He was so obsessed with her.

Actually it all started when I was placed on team 7 with him. He annoyed me to no end following me around all the time he would mimic me it was as if he wanted to be me. It drove me nuts I did everything in my power to let him know how much I hated him, and try and make him leave me be. I was content with my life. I had always been alone, they all had all their friends and I was content to remain by myself.

I had a hard childhood my entire clan was murdered by my brother including my parents and that left me with this insatiable urge to avenge them by killing my brother. It left me with a warped perspective on life and made me want to avoid all relationships with anyone. I was immersed in my obsession to kill him that bastard for all the hardship he put me through and for taking away all that was important to me .

Then I became a genin and on that day I experienced my first kiss. Shocked at first it was totally an accident but one that would be considered fate later on. It was him Uzumaki Naruto he was my first kiss. I know for some people that seems a little off considering I am a boy. Like I said it was an accident. He was staring me down right in my face and this guy behind him pushed him into me and we locked lips. I still didn't know it yet but I would cherish that first kiss.

Like I already said there was no end to the annoyances that he caused me he was such a reject my dobe. I always had to take care of him in everything. Always saving him from certain doom if you would. A part of me fed off of this type of interaction though I wanted be the strongest I needed to be the strongest. If I were to ever beat Itachi I had to overcome all others and surpass their power. However, during all my fights with Naruto-kun I started to feel closer to him like a best friend or something. Then I realized I had to kill him to attain true power. That was the only way to unleash the true power of my bloodline limit the Sharingan. I didn't want to so I decided to leave Konoha and seek power through Orochimaru.

_You must kill your best friend if you wish to unlike the Mangekyou Sharingan._

Those words spoken by my brother haunted me and I knew I had to kill Naruto. We fought a huge battle. It was then I realized that he may have feelings for me as well. He told me how lonely he had always been without parents. I understood his pain it softened my heart. He told me how I was like family to him and he didn't want me to go off to Orochimaru. I thought I can't let this boy ruin my quest to avenge my clan so before he talk me out of it I killed him.

_At least I thought I did_

I learned he had a huge power lying dormant within him and he healed himself instantly. The battle from then on was intense and moving. It ended with him lying passed out and me hovering over him staring into his eyes wondering why this boy would go so far for me.

I left Konoha and lived with Orochimaru. I became very powerful during this period. So did he, I heard he had made numerous attempts to find me with the help of his new sensei Jiraiya. It didn't matter though I wasn't going to stop until he was dead.

All the while though Naruto remained with me in my thoughts. I still however didn't love him.That did not happen until I returned to Konoha having successfully finished my task.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I had been gone for three years and it was night out. I returned at night like I had left hoping I could somehow convince the Hokage not to have me imprisoned or exiled from my village. What I found though was a party. The village was celebrating the founding of Konoha in a jubilant festival that had led into the night. I crept back hoping to avoid anyone's view.

I noticed Naruto standing with Sakura and I stopped to see them. He had grown and so had she and each one looked like they were so much stronger then before. I was proud of him he had grown so much from the annoying pain in the ass that he used to be. That was a mistake though. I should not have been so careless. As if fate would have it it seemed Naruto sensed my presence and he slowly turned his head to my direction.


	2. Chapter 2

I tried to evade his glance but it was too late he looked straight at me with those blue eyes of his and it was shocking to see how sad they looked. Like a part of him was hollow on the inside for some reason. Then he stared for a second at me trying to make sense of who was there.

Then I watched the epiphany unfold how he went from confused to an almost surreal state of happiness and shocked and he ran. He ran straight over to me tears in his eyes with the biggest smile I had ever seen. He hugged me

Please bear in mind that I was not used to hugging especially not being hugged by a boy. He squeezed me tight exclaiming my name as he did so and he began to cry. I didn't know what to do but I did know when thing I had never felt like this before.

As soon as he touched me I felt a shock wave within myself. It was like something connected and a light was turned on for the first time. I realized through this emotional awakening that I had fallen in love with someone.

He sobbed into my chest holding me tight and I placed me arms around him and whispered softly into his ear "_Gomen-nasai Naruto-kun". _We stayed like that for about a minute and then Sakura came rushing over to us. Screaming my name at the top of her lungs. I had been found out.

I guess it all worked out in the end Tsunade-sama was in a forgiving mood because of the festival and said I was allowed to stay because she knew how much Sakura and Naruto needed me. Naruto was still obsessed with Sakura but now I was in love with him.

Funny really Sakura was in love with me, Naruto was in love with Sakura and I was in love with Naruto. We made a great team if you could call it that.

I pursued a friendship with Naruto knowing full well that he was obsessed with Sakura. Something inside me just said if I can't be the one he loves I can at least be his best friend. Things were fine at first Naruto and I became quite the good friends and it seemed like things were great. What I hadn't counted on was just how strong my feelings for him were. I went on mission after mission with him and it seemed like it was getting worse and worse. I felt like I was lying to him holding back my true feelings from the one I loved. I needed to talk to someone and get some advice before I ate myself alive.

I talked to Neji who seemed to always have great insight and I didn't mention names. I just non-chalantly told him that I think I am in love with someone. He looked at me square in the eye and said "It's Naruto isn't it".

I was very shocked at first, how did he know?He then told me it was obvious the way I change my mannerisms around him but nobody else. He kind of figured I had been in love with him the entire time but just was too afraid to admit it. He also told me that Naruto is a very accepting person and would understand completely he wouldn't think any different of me. I was heartened by this and I thanked Neji.

Kakashi-sensei was of a different opinion however. He told me he didn't think it was a good idea to tell Naruto because it may ruin whatever good friendship we already had. I didn't want to lose our friendship so I decided to take the safe road and not tell him. _At first._

I figured if I could be his friend that was good enough for me. It worked for a while but it still felt like I was lying to him not telling him my true feelings.

After about two weeks it became like torture to be around him at all he would prance around happy as can beautiful deep blue eyes. Bright golden hair and I become more in love with him as the days went by. He would always come over my house because he was so lonely all the time. He wanted to be loved by somebody you could just tell he needed the compassion and understanding that only I could give to him. I had been there and endured the same loneliness he had. I was there for him when he needed me but every time he came by my heart broke just a little bit more.

Till one day we went out and had dinner at Ichiraku. After dinner I felt enough was enough I had to take my chances and tell him my love for him.

I turned to him and said "Naruto-kun there is something I need to tell you and I am afraid of what you will think." "What is it Sasuke?" he replied. "Well Naruto you see and this is very hard for me so I guess I will just come out and say it. I'm in love with you"

"What?" he said. "Naruto, I am in love with you I love you more then you'll ever know."


	3. Chapter 3

His initial reaction was a bit of a shock to me. He just turned to me and said "Ok". I knew he wasn't gay and was in fact very much infatuated with Sakura. However for for him to just say ok was a bit unexpected I was expecting something more along the lines of "What!?"

I turned to him and said "you probably don't fully understand just yet, you will probably have to sleep on it and let it sink in a little before it becomes fully comprehendable to you". With that I took him home and went on my way I was relieved I had finally expressed my feelings to someone I thought would not really be able to take the fact that another boy was in love with him. His reaction was perplexing but at least I got it out in the open.

It was a couple of days before I saw Naruto again. I acted like nothing had happened and we hung out like usual. I was hoping he had come to terms with my love and had accepted it but he acted a little shy around me the entire night. We went and played bowling for a little while and then decided to go home. On our way home we stopped off at the grocery store to get something to drink.

It was then that Naruto began to really act shy and I asked him what was wrong. He turned to me but then he bowed his head. I was concerned that I had hurt him after all by telling him. I turned to him and said "You know if it is about the other night if you are uncomfortable around me then I can understand why you don't have to be my friend.". I really only said that to find out if our friendship could withstand this new issue.

Naruto looked down at the ground for about a minute the silence was awkward and I had this horrible pain in my heart staring at him there contemplating how to break it to me that he no longer wished to be my friend. Then he did something I will never forget. "Sasuke" he said "It's not that. Remember when you said it would take me some time to understand fully what you told me?" "Yes" I replied. "Well ummm the thing is Sasuke, it hit me in the morning the full impact of what you said to me and well I think I love you too"

I stared at him bewildered could this have been a dream come true? Naruto loved me back my feelings had been reciprocated and I began to cry. I grabbed him and sobbed on his shoulder tears or joy that he felt it too. He told me that day that our friendship will endure all.

Naruto wasn't attracted to me oh no. Don't get me wrong either I was attracted to him however my love was for him not his body so at no point did I want a sexual relationship. I wanted a sensual relationship. Naruto was still attracted to Sakura but something had happened to him. He couldn't fall in love with her. To him she was merely a sexual object. However I was his companion if you could understand that.

He never really came out and said it though but I knew just by how he talked about her to me that he was unable to have feelings for her. It was as if he only needed women for sex but he needed me for love.

We were inseparable from then on we did everything together and slept over each other's houses. The first night e stayed over my house I told him he could have my bed and I would go sleep on the couch and he told me he wanted me to stay. I asked him if he was comfortable with another man sleeping in the bed with him and he said he was more than comfortable and that he didn't want to be alone. "Fine" I said and gave into his demand.

It was about 2 A.M. And something woke me in the night. It seemed Naruto had decided to cuddle up next to me laying his head on my chest and entangling his feet with mine like I was some kind of teddy bear. He looked so cute and innocent and happy there as I held him in my arms. He was smiling the most contented smile I had ever seen. It seemed he had found the love he always wanted.

From then on out his relationships with women faded away. He had a few here and there but they always ended up tragically. Eventually they became purely sexual where he only hung out with them if he knew there was going to be sex. He and I never truly did anything sexual _Per se. _We did however have our moments of drunken fun, it makes me smile just thinking about it.

He maintained that he didn't find me attractive but I had my doubts. I knew he was curious and sometimes just sometimes I knew when I held him that there were signs of life somewhere in the lower vicinity if you catch my drift.

Then I had to leave. I was sent on a mission to guard a castle in the Snow Country for a year by Tsunade and Naruto didn't take it well. I held him in my arms and told him that I had to leave and this was goodbye for a while.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto acted like it wasn't affecting him that I was leaving he put on a brave face and kept on going. I did however notice a change in behavior the last week I was with him.

We had gone to Ino's birthday party and he was very cold to me even ignoring me choosing instead to converse with Kiba. I didn't like how he was treating me at all it made me feel vulnerable and abandoned. The entire night all he did was ignore me and boss me around, telling me to go get him a drink or something to eat when he was hungry and I was fortunate enough to get a chance to talk to him.

Late into the night I asked him to come talk to me outside alone and he complied. I confronted him with how he was making me feel and asked him why he was being so downright awful to me. I explained that I was hurt badly and didn't feel I deserved such treatment.

His face contorted a little and I noticed the usual spark in his eyes had vanished. "Sasuke" he said in a melancholy tone of voice. Then he grabbed me and held me tight in his arms. "I just don't want you to go I know you don't either. I have tried to take it like a man but this pain in my heart is overwhelming I'm sorry I took it out on you I never meant to hurt you and I hope you can forgive me. I just wish there were someway you didn't have to go."

A little surprised by this sudden admission I turned to him with tender understanding eyes and said " I know this is a return to you being alone but remember I am your friend and will always be. I know how much I hurt you when I left with Orochimaru but this is totally different I am definitely coming back and then we can be together again. I need you to take care of my house while you are gone so in effect it is now yours I will definitely write back to you and tell you what the Snow Country is like. Remember my thoughts are with you always."

This little speech seemed to have made him feel better and I think he was able to come to terms with my leaving for a year. Of course the day I left was very painful for me.

We went to the docks so I could depart and I was dreading the moment I would have to say goodbye to him. He walked over to the platform with me and we just kid of hung out there avoiding the fact that this was good bye again for a time. Then the whistle blew and it was time. I had no preparation for what my heart felt as I said good bye. I gave him a hug and kind of stared at him for a moment to burn his image into my head. He said good bye to me and smiled his usual ear to ear smile I waved back as I walked up the ramp smiling the most authentic smile I could come up with but as soon as I got onto the ship I broke down.

It felt almost involuntary like my body was more upset then I was at leaving him. I felt drained and tears just come flowing down in a torrential flow. The only thing I could think was this was it no going back now. I kept on walking and sailed away into the sunset. I could only guess at what that sweet dobe was doing right at that moment. Was he crying too?


	5. Chapter 5

The first couple of months away from Naruto were very painful. I felt like I had lost a part of myself. There were moments late at night when I would roll over in my bed stare into the darkness and wonder what he was doing just then. After a while however time healed the gaping wound in my heart and I began to become immersed in the beauty of the snow country. I enjoyed long hikes up the snowy winter mountains, and staring at the sunset as it gently faded away at night.

It was this fascination with the natural beauty around me that allowed me to maintain sanity without Naruto. I would receive a letter from him every so often and then I would fervently write a reply. His letters usually consisted of him telling me how wonderful he is taking care of my house and the new furniture he installed in my guest room. I was so glad he was no longer living in that dump of an apartment he called home before we became such close friends.

Life stayed like that until it was time to leave. I boarded the ship and we set sail for fire country. As the wind blew past our heads while sailing in the direction of konoha I thought of Naruto and how I couldn't wait to see his great big smile. The trip took about two weeks and they were the longest of my life. Anticipation makes even a short period of time seem like an eternity.

After what seemed like ages we finally arrived in Konoha and there were masses of people waiting to see their loved ones again. I searched the crowd for Naruto and at first I couldn't see him. I thought maybe he didn't come to see me? Then I quickly scolded myself for thinking such nonsense. Then off in the distance I saw a frantically moving mop of blonde darting through the crowds in what seemed like pure desperation and I knew it was him. I quickly moved to someplace safe and hid behind his position.

I wanted to sneak up behind him feeling like this would be a great a surprise considering Naruto had a arrived a little late on the scene. He searched for about ten minutes while I tried to find the perfect opportunity to sneak up behind him and grab him. Then I realized that he started to lose hope of finding me. His desperately frantic movements were slowing down now it looked like he may have gotten the wrong idea that I ditched him.

Suddenly he hung his head and I began to hear sobbing. My heart fell to pieces, I was trying to surprise him by popping out of nowhere but I had shattered him. I walked up behind him and noticed he was now crying while wiping the tears away with his arm. Then I placed my hand on his shoulder and spun him around and our eyes met. His eyes welled up with tears and looked at me and said "Sasuke I'm so happy to see you" then he jumped at me and grabbed me. I held him and asked him if he was ok. He said he had been so lonely. I wiped away his tears and told him everything would be all right I wasn't going to be leaving ever again.

Naruto told me he had taken good care of the house on our way home and even decorated a bit. I was a little shocked when I walked into the house and realized Naruto had taken my old couch and replaced it with a black leather sofa and redid all the furniture to seem more modern in comparison to the older set. I was amazed at how well Naruto was able to decorate. I was however I a little unnerved by the large poster on the wall of an instant ramen cup. "How quaint" I thought.

It was not long before I was back into the swing of things. Tsunade had given me two months off to recuperate from the extended mission. I took this time to get back in touch with Naruto and who he had become since I was gone. Apparently things had not gone well with Sakura she viewed him as an annoyance more then anything else and he knew this so he decided to give up. He also wanted to move back into his apartment so I grudgingly allowed him to leave my house. Naruto also seemed to hang out a lot with Lee now, as they had become good buddies while I was gone.

That being said Naruto obviously still loved me but now he was always doing his own thing. I felt lonely while he was off doing his own thing with Lee. He and Lee would go off and just stare at Ino and Hinata, while I would be at home alone agonizing over having lost a large connection during our separation. I guess even though he still loved me he just had other friends now which was fine after all he was finally achieving what he wanted, friendship, so I left him alone which is what I thought he wanted until one day he came over my house for dinner and afterward we drank sake together. Naruto had been under what seemed like a lot of stress lately.

He was very seldom going off with Lee and he stopped running around after Ino and Hinata with him. The few times I saw him on the street he had seemed very deep in thought the last couple of weeks. As we sat there on my couch Naruto began to look at me rather intensely with this look of concern. I turned to Naruto and asked him what was the matter? He seemed incensed, was it the sake? Naruto bowed his head. He looked as though he had just lost a very harsh battle. Suddenly he jolted upright and stared at me again this time his eyes looked like they were searching my mind and without a word grabbed me by the arm pulled me closer and we locked lips…


	6. Chapter 6

I was unsure what to think of the kiss, it was seductive and intriguing at the same time. His tongue glided along mine with precision and thought and I acquiesced to all my desires and absorbed the wonderful feelings that were filling my heart. I knew he loved me but I also knew he was striaght so what was the deal? Afterward Naruto just sat there on the couch staring at the picture of the ramen cup.

"Sasuke?" he asked with a bit of confusion

"Yes Naruto?"

"Why did you keep that picture, I have not lived here since August and it is approaching May."

"Well dobe I kept it to remind me of you."

"But, why?"

"I don't know I just wanted to be reminded of you that's all. It really isn't that big of a deal."

"Oh. I have to go Sasuke I just remembered something."

With that Naruto stood up and left my house without mentioning the kiss at all. Weeks passed by and Naruto had rekindled his friendship with Lee and it seemed like he was totally ignoring me. I felt abandoned and alone once again and I longed for Naruto. It was tough while he was off doing his own thing I was left with the love I knew we had and the feeling that I had lost.

I began to slowly stop all communication with Naruto as I felt he would soon have be looking for a girlfriend again and Lee was helping him do that.

Naruto actually moved in with Lee because he was evicted from his apartment. Apparently the ownerof the apartment complex had sold the building and the new landlord did not want Naruto there so he was told to leave. I puzzled me why Naruto would want to live with Lee I mean here I was with a huge empty mansion and he moves in with Lee. I became extremely jealous of Lee and Naruto and began bashing Lee. I told Naruto I didn't feel it was healthy living with Lee at all. During the last two months Lee had decided to come out of the closet confessing that he was actually Gay.

The community was shocked and at the same time expected it. After all who wears clothes like that!? My concern was that Lee would rape Naruto in the middle of the night and I would not have that.

After all Naruto basically told me he was straight and didn't like men in that way. He said he loved me but it was a different love from that. So I sat and sat and sat waiting for Naruto in pain without him.

My 22nd birthday was a smash hit, I got drunk and didn't have to pay a dime. Afterward we went back to Naruto and Lee's house and Naruto had totake Hinata back to her complex because she did not want to be alone. I thought good maybe he will connect with her finally.

I had no idea what was about to happen next. Lee was a little agitated at me andI could not place why. We talked for a little bit and then he confronted me.

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah"

"Did Naruto tell you we had sex?"

"What!?"


	7. Chapter 7

At that point I left the apartment in a daze. I was unsure what to think of Naruto anymore. Did he actually have sex with Lee?

A few days later I confronted him with the news and he confirmed that they did have sex but only because Lee kept nagging him to do it and one drunk night he just did. So many thoughts ran through my mind. I knew I was in love with him but a large part of me was relieved that Naruto would never be in love with another man the way he was with me. Because he was straight I think?

I told him it was okay that it did not really matter to me and that he did not need to hide it from me. He was afraid of my reaction so he decided to hide it from me thinking I would go off the deep end.

I let it go thinking that was the end of it one time deal right? Lee over a period of months began to tell me the full story. Apparently it was not a one time thing and in fact Naruto had not only liked it but sometimes liked to play uke. I was shocked and had to find out for myself.

Naruto became disillusioned with Lee. He did not feel right with him after a while and I knew it so I seized the opportunity. Why don't you move in with me and he jumped at the opportunity to move out. He wanted a girlfriend and he felt this would allow him to search for one and save some money at the same time.

After we were all settled I decided to test my theories about Naruto's straightness. He still did not know I knew about his little Uke adventure and I was going to find out. He was laying on my bed and we were talking and I decided nows my chance.

"Naruto, I'm going to rub your back" he looked in thought for a bit and then said "Ok" with this tone of voice sort of like someone accepting a fact.

I lifted onto his front and slowly undid his belt. Then I unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them revealing his satin undergarments (Bell going off in head). I slid his pants down and then slid off his undergarments revealing an area oferotic pleasure that from my perspective seemed to be "into the moment". I flipped him over and began slowly rubbing his bare back rubbing all the kinks out of his muscles. He wasso tense andI liked every minute of it so I savored the moment.

I was out of breath most of the time blushing hard. I was very turned on and almost climaxed in my shorts. Then I flipped him over to revealing my theory to be very correct. I grabbed hold of him and primed the pump in hope of water. Then I abruptly stopped. I picked up Naruto turned him around so his back was facing me and then sat him in my lap. I held him tight in my arms. He seemed the most content I have ever seen him.

"Naruto?"

"Yes"

"Assume for a second I already know the answer to this question but have you ever played Uke with Lee?"

"Uh….em," After a long silence "….Yes"


End file.
